Are You Ready for Marriage?

Sometimes, the all-encompassing nature of love can cause couples to rush in to the lifelong commitment of marriage. This had led to a huge increase in unhappy marriages, and, eventually, divorce.

Before prematurely jumping into the process of marriage, there are a few key questions you and your partner should ask yourselves to see if you are both getting married to each other for the right reasons. It is important you both answer all of these questions honestly in order to ensure you both are on the same page for your long term goals, plans, and commitments.

1.    Why are you getting married? Write a list of pros and cons to your relationship. If either of you two needs to talk yourselves into marriage, you are probably not ready. Trust your gut instinct; are you doing this to avoid or escape something or to fill a void?

2.    Do you truly know and trust your partner? The best indicator of future behavior is a partner’s previous behavior. Carefully analyze how your partner behaved in prior relationships as well as your own relationship, such as asking if your partner was faithful in their prior relationships.

3.    Are you planning a marriage, or simply a wedding? Picking out flowers, dresses and centerpieces is very exciting, but it is important to truly understand that there is much more at stake than just the one day celebration; a marriage lasts a lifetime. Think about the next 40 or 50 years and where you would like to be in your life, and ask yourself if you can accomplish this with your current partner. A great way to do this is to create a thorough prenuptial agreement, so you can discuss things such as money, religion, careers, retirement, children, etc. prior to marriage so you can make these decisions sooner rather than later.

4.    Are you biting off more than you can chew? Look carefully at what this relationship is costing you. Has your partner caused you to sacrifice your family, friends, or career? If so, you are emotionally bankrupting yourself.

5.    Have you both communicated your expectations and needs? Be honest with yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to have individual goals in life separate from your relationship, and it is good to express these needs now instead of later in marriage after the commitment has been made.

Sources: Dr. Phil