How to NOT Break Up with your Girlfriend

Breaking up with someone is never easy; before you go and do something you will regret, educating yourself on other guy’s horror stories of their break ups might be a good way to do your homework. 

Here are the top 10 ways you should never, ever break up with your girlfriend. 

1. Facebook: This is one of the most common ways breakups happen, and it is by far the most embarrassing and impersonal way to break it off with someone possible. 

2. Social Media Pictures: There’s nothing more humiliating for the dumpee than to find pictures of you all up in a sexy waitresses business on Instagram, so make sure you are careful with your actions until the breakup is official.

3. Before a family vacation: It is all too common for the guy to try and break it off merely hours before a family trip…that your now ex-girlfriend is already booked to go on. Suck it up for a couple days and break it off afterward for your sake, your sanity’s sake, and your family’s sake. 

4. After a funeral: This is one of those urban legend break-ups that doesn’t need much explanation. Do not try this at home folks. 

5. At a restaurant: You may think a restaurant is a good idea because it’s a public place and that will keep you out of physical harm’s way, but that is not always the case. Waiting for what seems like hours for the food to come, and then having no appetite, wasting precious time and only intensifying the awkward tension with every bite is not the best way to execute the break up. 

6. Communication Stand-Still: If you managed to somehow cut off all communication with your girl for over two weeks, is it really necessary to beat a dead horse? 

7. Blaming God: Blaming your break up on God is not only passing the blame on entities other than who is actually responsible (which is you) but it is making yourself look irresponsible for doing so. Man up and tell her the truth as to why the relationship must end. 

8. At a zoo: This may seem like a random place to add to this list, but in reality, it’s not. Break ups can cause people to do crazy things, and the last thing you want is to be the man responsible for your ex’s absurd acts of violence on innocent children or animals (you may be laughing, but this has happened before).

9. At an airport: Breaking up with your girlfriend at the airport as she’s leaving for some kind of trip is NOT the time to do the break up. Leaving her to wallow in the pain on the plane ride with free drinks will not end up in a pretty picture for you once she lands. She may be geographically far away from you, but that doesn’t mean she can’t cause you psychological harm. 

10. The day before her birthday: Have some humanity, do it several weeks before or wait it out until after her birthday, don’t be cruel. 

This article is not to teach you how to break up with your girlfriend, but how NOT to break up with your girlfriend. Take this advice and avoid these scenarios at all costs, if you know what’s good for you. 

Sources: Red and Black