Ten Things to Never Text a Woman

Texting a woman is a fine art: if done successfully, you can end up in bed together, but if done poorly, you contact number will be deleted quicker than you can blink.

To help you be successful in your female endeavors, here are a couple of pointers on what NOT to say, EVER, to a woman via text:

1.    Using Abbreviations: Abbreviations show a lack of effort, and therefore a lack of interest. Texting is a casual form of communication, but spelling like a 7th grader is not charming.

2.    Mass Texting: Ladies can spot a mass text a mile away, especially with Lily and Megan are roommates. Make sure to get her name right.

3.    Last Minute Invitations: Asking a girl out 15 minutes before you are leaving tells the girl that she was your back-up plan. If you ask a girl out via text, give her AT LEAST a day in advance heads up.

4.    Lacking Confidence: Take charge. If you are asking a girl to lunch, don’t say “I don’t care where we go,” instead, ask her what her favorite kind of food is, and pick a restaurant. Be a man with a plan.

5.    Being “Dry Toast”: Keep the ‘haha’ and ‘cool’ use to a minimum; over use of dry responses like that make the girl think you are disinterested, lazy, or simply not funny.

6.    One Word Responses: When you respond “k” to her three paragraph text message, just know that she is currently imagining you being lit on fire. No matter how mundane, trivial, or stupid you may think her three paragraph text was, if you like her, write back a proper response; maybe even throw in an emoji for good measure.
7.    Emotional Texting: Any emotional or important conversation should NEVER be held via texting or over the phone at all. If you have something to tell her, let her know in person.

8.    Horndog Texting: Despite the high-quality cameras on phones today that make her photos to you feel like you have your own personal PlayBoy, sexual demands like “send me a pic” or “show me what you’re wearing” can sound juvenile and just plain creepy. There’s nothing wrong with having some sexuality in your texting conversations, but keep it playful and light.

9.    Drunk Texting: This is quite possibly the worst offense you can commit as a texting male. Texting her at 4am saying ‘wzupp whre chi at’ or ‘send me a pic of dat ass’ is not going to woo her; she will think of you eternally as a pig.

10.    Crack Texting: Frequency is the most powerful component of texting. Do not send multiple messages without any response. Take it one text at a time, take your time, don’t respond within 15 seconds, and don’t answer her every beck and text.

Sources: Men’s Fitness